Have you ever had your heart broken into tiny little pieces to the point of feeling like there is just no repair possible?
Have you lost a loved one such as a spouse, best friend, child, sibling, close relative or maybe even a mentor?
Have you been fired or let go from a job or found yourself in a humiliating and embarrassing situation to where you just want to hide your face in the sand?
Have you experienced infidelity in your marriage/relationship or you were the one who did the cheating and feel like there is no recovery?
Have you been down the road of not wanting to live any more because of your heartache or a feeling of worthlessness? Are you there now?
The one constant in those situations is always the permission to hurt, cry, feel bad and just be depressed. This is most certainly part of the healing process.
I remember going through some really tough times where I felt rejected, unloved, unworthy and unwanted. The crazy thing is that none of those things were true. I also realized that is was easier to believe those negative things because they gave me the permission to feel sorry for myself for as long as I wanted to with no end. The more time I spent alone, the more I fed my mind with all of the negative things my brain cells could hold. I also went through that, “God where are you?” phase as well. I was in a state of depression for quite sometime. If I thought positive that would take away my right to sulk, pout and cry. If I thought positive, I would be responsible for picking myself up and moving on with life which I just wasn’t ready to do. BUT, God’s love never ceases and never fails. I’m a living witness!
After a while I began to realize that I was just wasting precious time dwelling on what could not be changed. I then literally looked in the mirror and decided to put an expiration date on my pain. I set a month, day and time so that I would hold myself accountable to give up the pain. That was the best decision I ever made in my life. What that did was to force me to choose between pain and happiness, both of which were completely in my control.
We often put our happiness and peace of mind in the hands of others not realizing that no matter how loving, dedicated and trustworthy these people are, they all have the ability to hurt us or leave us whether through break-ups, death, or even things unbeknownst to them. Generally speaking, people are just that, people who do people like things, some good, some bad, some in their control and some not. But now it is time to take back your rights to happiness by giving your pain an expiration date.
Giving up the pain does not mean giving up the memories. What it does mean is that you are forced to make a decision on how to process and deal with your pain in a more positive and beneficial way. People often say things like forgive and forget. I understand what that means, but do we really forget? Of course not, but what we can do is NOT waddle in that pain.
If you choose to forgive then forgive and move on, learn and grow.
If you experience the loss of a loved one, choose to remember the best memories possible to counter that empty feeling of loss or the tragedy of their demise. If it is a breakup, choose to look at the lessons learned to prevent repeat offenses. You can also look at a break-up as a blessing. I know I wouldn’t trade my husband for anyone or anybody. The break-ups I experienced regardless of the pain were the biggest blessings of loss I could imagine. Without those break-ups, I wouldn’t have my husband who helped me to create four beautifully talented and God-fearing children.
When you choose pain over happiness, this can affect your entire life such as your job, home and basic well being. Ask yourself, is it really worth it?
No matter what you have been through or currently going through right now, I, this day give you the permission to HEAL.
Therefore, you must now come up with your own realistic expiration date. What this means is that you will have a celebration of choosing happiness over grief for that which is beyond your control. You will then give God back control over the joy he so intended you to experience all along. You no longer have the permission to feel sorry for yourself, live with regrets or bask in a swell of grief that no longer has a place in your life other than to delay the blessings God has in store.
I dare you to try it!!! It works! Now go in peace and LIVE by divine intention!!!!!!
Blessings and Inspiration,
ShannonAyersSpeaks
Over the last year I have had my share of EBBSand FLOWS. I was so excited about starting a business and began the process of taking the necessary steps toward readying myself for the big six month start-up. Everything appeared to be working well at a nice pace until I got a phone call that ended up spinning me into a whirlwind. The phone call was about an opportunity to work with a potential NFL draft pick. Therefore, I began the “NEW BUSINESS HUSTLE” of prepping myself for this potential client by moving into overdrive. I was so excited and ready to embark upon an incredible journey of entrepreneurship that I knew would be an exilerating leap into the world of consulting. This meant late nights, lots of research and spending a few dollars to get going. Bear in mind, I work full-time, go to school full-time, I am…
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