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Monthly Archives: April 2014

THE HUSTLE BETWEEN MY EBB AND FLOW

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Business, Career, Inspiration

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

#EbbandFlow, #Facebook, #Hope, #ShannonAyers, #ShannonAyersSpeaks, #STAR_Management, #thehustlebetweenmyebbandflow

dream is free but the hustle is sold separatelyOver the last year I have had my share of EBBS and FLOWS.  I was so excited about starting a business and began the process of taking the necessary steps toward readying myself for the big six month start-up.  Everything appeared to be working well at a nice pace until I got a phone call that ended up spinning me into a whirlwind.  The phone call was about an opportunity to work with a potential NFL draft pick.  Therefore, I began the “NEW BUSINESS HUSTLE” of prepping myself for this potential client by moving into overdrive.  I was so excited and ready to embark upon an incredible journey of entrepreneurship that I knew would be an exilerating leap into the world of consulting.  This meant late nights, lots of research and spending a few dollars to get going.   Bear in mind, I work full-time, go to school full-time, I am a full-time wife and mom of four kids and active in my church; but I got this!!!.  Mentor(s)…check!  Business Plan…check!  Logo…check!  Website…check!  Social Media…check!  I am primed and ready.

 

Ebb and FlowI was astounded to hear my own words spoken out of the mouth of this potential NFL draft pick on ESPN.  I was blown away and felt, “Wow, I can really do this!” I began working with the family member who initially called me trying to devise a plan for this potential client.  In the mean time, I started making phone calls to family and friends that I thought would be able to help me with some leads.  All of sudden I go from a snail paced start-up to four “potential” clients.  I received hopeful expectations of contacts and information from reputable sources feeling as though I was well on my way.  I began telling family and friends what I was doing just so that I could hear the same excitement I was feeling about my new adventure.

In the meantime, Sequestration is no longer looming and goes into effect.  As a government employee I got furloughed right after spending money to get this business underway; but I got this!!   I am still in my HUSTLE AND FLOW!!  I was so psyched that I got way ahead of myself with providing “free” advice thinking that I had developed a rapport with the representative of the potential client.

All of sudden, the information I was waiting on from friends never materialized.  I was heavily criticized by one of my mentors at a time when I thought I was making significant progress.  The phone calls just stopped out of nowhere with the representative.  The potential clients wanted and received free advice [that they used] but did not want to set up a contract for business.  Tensions started to develop on my job with a co-worker.  I started flunking two of my graduate school classes.  The high I was feeling started to ebb fast.

Now I feel like a failure who has wasted precious time and money.  I stooped into a funk replaying all of the negativity I could think of in my head to explain why it just wasn’t meant to be.  After my aunt chewed into me explaining how I had no reason to hang my head low, my husband and a couple of close friends providing many words of encouragement, I decided to pick myself up and move foward.  Still in the back of my mind I am thinking, “Who am I to think that I could start a business at this late in the game of my life?”

I frequently spoke with one of my mentors who gave me a lead about pursuing my writing once again.  Now I am seeing a small flicker again.  So I subscribed to the recommended site and started to submit pitches in response to queries for articles.  Within the first couple of weeks or so I got requests to feature my writing in two articles.  Feeling psyched again, I started a much talked about blog.  For the last few years I would submit posts on my Facebook page with incredible responses from my family and friends.  Surely I would expect their support to come pouring in now that I have my own forum at http://www.ShannonAyersSpeaks.com for them to follow me.  After sending out a request for support from my well over 1000 friends on Facebook, I only received about maybe five or six Facebook friends who now support my blog.  What I did receive was a bunch of likes on Facebook and over 1600 views on my blog but not much support or feedback on my posts.

Once again I began to feel the downward slump of trying to figure out what in the world am I doing.  Someone just stopped by and literally started to ramble on about dogs.  I was trying to pay attention because she is really sweet but I just didn’t want to be bothered.  So I gave a big smile, nodded and gestured to show I was paying attention all the while feeling like, “Wrap it up sister!”  But then she said something that caught my attention that had no relevance to her ramble.  She said if you build a strong enough foundation everything will be alright.  WOW!!!  That brought it all home for me.  Of course I felt guilty for not paying attention at first because she gave me a profound word that fully described “THE HUSTLE OF MY EBB AND FLOW“!

What I came to realize in that moment was that all of this I am going through will make me stronger, wiser and better for a more firm foundation of what it is I desire to do.  Okay, I know this is no news flash that you have to go through something in order to be something or do something.  What is more significant to me is the lie we tell ourselves when what we see does not match up with what we desire.  It speaks to the scripture that reads, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen.”  What good is faith when you can see everything right before our eyes?  What then would have to believe in?  What reason would we have for HOPE?  Why would I need a God who can supply all of my needs and give me the desire of my heart if I had no reason for HOPE?

The FlowSo, all of this is to say that while I am not where I want to be, I have to keep pushing regardless of how low it seems at times.  Maybe I will be a master consultant or a brilliant blogger.  Maybe I will get this great job that stimulates both my mind and my pocket book simultaneously.  Or maybe I will just be a voice to encourage others to their dreams.  I don’t really know what the future holds, but as long as I rise another day, I will live for the hope that someday my dream will be fulfilled…and that alone is a blessed gift.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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WHAT DOES YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA IMAGE SAY ABOUT YOU?

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Business, Career, Inspiration

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

#Business, #Encouragement, #Facebook, #Image, #Internet, #ShannonAyers, #ShannonAyersSpeaks, #socialmedia, #www.ShannonAyersSpeaks.com

social-media

We are in a day and age of vast technology that continually grows everyday.  SOCIAL MEDIA has become the most used form of communication between family, friends and strangers.  Like many others, I peruse through FACEBOOK looking at photos, videos, news stories, and crazy postings that are circulated in a matter of seconds to thousands of people.  As I am viewing these items, I see so many different postings that are displayed in incredilbly poor taste and judgement…some from people I know and some I do not know.  This makes me ponder on whether or not these people realize the type of image that is being portrayed of them in SOCIAL MEDIA.

Think Before you Post Online

We all know at least one person that has lost their job, ruined their marriage or embarrassed themselves along with their families and children. Yet, everyday someone is trying to outdo the latest SOCIAL MEDIA debacle by posting some dreadful image or video of themselves or others.  What people do not realize or take into account before indulging in such poor taste is the type of image that is building up over a period of time that may not accurately portray their true personage.  This is called media presence.

LinkedIn Be Careful

Please bear in mind that when you interview for a job, put in an application for a loan, or start up a BUSINESS, your SOCIAL MEDIA presence is out there for review.  There is no real way to regulate how someone will research you on the INTERNET to see what you are about.  If you don’t get the job, they may not tell you that it was due to borderline pornographic pictures that you posted or the vile language you displayed in your postings.

Willy Wonka

People are going to judge your character and in some cases intellect by the the decisions you make in SOCIAL MEDIA.  You just never know how this will affect you in the long run.  Your present situation may not appear to be in jeopardy, but in this fiscal climate, things change all the time.

Also, those of us that are parents have a moral and parental responsibility to protect our kids.  If you are posting inappropriate IMAGES of yourself or speaking in a manner that would not be acceptable for your kids, think about how they can be affected.  Kids have the Internet right at their fingertips and can be exposed to social media with or without your permission.

So ask yourself, is it really worth it?  If it crosses your mind to post a picture of your two year old drinking beer, a video of your little girl dancing like Beyonce or a selfie of you in your undies, spare us and yourself the embarrassment by utilizing common sense and self restraint.  After all, your future and my sanity depends on it.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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Two years

26 Saturday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Inspiration

≈ 9 Comments

Awesome and inspirational!

Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks

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THE REAL SCANDAL

22 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Business, Career, Inspiration

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

#Determination, #Encouragement, #Scandal, #ShannonAyersSpeaks, #Television

Scandal

Those who watch SCANDAL, especially women, can’t help but to admire Olivia Pope’s wardrobe, hair and resourceful use of business savvy and Public Relations tactics to spin positive on her client’s livelihood.  While anyone can do without the drama that comes with that territory, it is most certainly a fascinating TV life of indulgence to which many escape for about 45 minutes.

Question!  Does it ever get tiring living vicariously through the drama surrounding fictional characters when your own life is wasting by the wayside?  What have you done to jumpstart your career?  What have you done to jumpstart a healthier lifestyle?  What have you done to educate your way into a future that is rewarding both financially and mentally stimulating?

The real SCANDAL is the lie you constantly tell yourself, I WILL…TOMORROW!

SCANDAL is loosely based on the life of a real person who was so great at her job that it inspired someone else to a career far beyond her imagination.  Who do you inspire?  Judy Smith is the former lawyer and deputy press secretary of President George H. W. Bush.  She successfully represented the likes of Kobe Bryant, Michael Vick and Monica Lewinsky in addition to several other high profile clients who were embroiled in SCANDALS of their own.  Smith continues to run her own crisis management firm in Washington D.C. and is also currently serving as co-executive producer to the SCANDAL television show.

There are many Judy Smiths in the world who enjoy or have enjoyed successful careers that parlayed into inspiration that allowed others to be great.  The beauty of this is that greatness can and should be a trickle-down effect that encourages someone else to shoot for the moon.

main--Scandal

As my aunt would say, “GET UP OFF OF YOUR DO-NOTHING” and go after your dreams instead of watching someone fulfill theirs on television.  It is time to take that course, get that certification, invest in that business, etc.   Whatever it is, it’s time for you to get yours.  But remember, the most important aspect of your dreams is that they are guided by God’s will for your life.  Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you.  It’s time!  What are you waiting for?  Let the next episode be your life going in a forward trajectory of success and purpose.  Stop the SCANDAL now and live your dreams.  What do you have to lose?  Don’t worry, Olivia Pope is not going any where any time soon.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

 

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ARE YOU A GLADIATOR?

21 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Inspiration

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

#Determination, #Gladiator, #Scandal, #ShannonAyersSpeaks, #StarManagementConsulting

Most in present day associate the term “GLADIATOR” with Shonda Rhimes’ hit television show, Scandal. Many are referring to themselves as GLADIATORS all over Facebook and Twittersville, especially on Thursdays.  Who didn’t buy into the speech Harrison gave Quin? But are you really a GLADIATOR?

gladiator_GK

History tells us that GLADIATORS were used for sport by the Roman Empire engaging in arena combat with other GLADIATORS. More noteworthy, while a GLADIATOR’s status was considered less desirable, their unyielding spirit of fighting to the bitter end was an awe-inspiring gesture of audacity and triumph. When we think of a gladiator, we think of a beast of burden who has the fortitude, iron will and tenacity to remain an effervescent symbol of resilience and determination in combat to the death.

A GLADIATOR is a powerful representation of what most of us would hope to be and others dare to consider themselves worthy of comparison.

So I ask….

Are you a GLADIATOR?

Are you willing to fight for what you want in this life?

Are you willing to fight for your dreams and goals you set long before disappointment became your foe?

Are you willing to stand up for what you know is right and true in spite of consequences?

Are you willing to fight for the love that once permeated your heart before scorn became a dominant inhabitation?

Are you willing to step out on faith and believe in the talents and abilities God placed within you to plow through adversity, interference and interruption in your life in effort to prohibit a dream to be fulfilled?

gladiator2

What say you…are you a GLADIATOR? I dare you to defy the odds of societal parameters and say…I am a GLADIATOR destined for success, settling for nothing less than what God intended — living a life that is pleasing to Him and before Him!! I will fight to the death against the adversities of this life that resolve to hold me hostage to my fleshly limitations. “We are more than conquerors through Him that love us!”

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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SISTERHOOD ENCOURAGEMENT 101

10 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Inspiration

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

#Encouragement, #ShannonAyersSpeaks, #StandUpSistah, #StarManagementConsulting, #Women

I am with you image

To Every Woman — Know Your Worth And Value!

I encourage you this day to toss out the notion that:

  • you are less because “He” dumped you or cheated on you or tells you your nothing
  • you are less because “She” flaunts her body in front of you making you think that because you’re over weight you aren’t beautiful
  • the texture or length of your hair makes you less attractive
  • your skin color makes you less appealing
  • your pedigree is less than Park Avenue or Lakeshore Drive because you came from the streets, projects, trailers, foster care or no formal education
  • you are less than a woman because you had a mastectomy, hysterectomy, miscarriage or are infertile
  • you are less because mama wasn’t there or daddy wasn’t there thinking you belong to no one
  • you are not worth loving because “Friend girl” did not support you, talked about you, lied on you
  • because “He” beats on you or verbally abuses you that you’re worthless
  • that because your loved ones passed on that you’re alone because you’re not

shebelievedPlease know that God designed us as women and that he loves us unconditionally. We don’t all fit the mold of the ladies in the magazines or on tv. Some of us around “that time of the month” began to feel depressed and reflect on hurt and pain that has happened to us before or is happening right now. Or we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see and feel hopeless. Some of us walk around with a smile on our face but with tears in our hearts behind closed doors. I want you to know that you are greater than your circumstance. Stand UP “My Ladies” and know your worth. Stand up “My Ladies” and know who you are and whose you are. Stand UP and encourage one another and do not tear each other down.

Girl You Got This

Why do I write this today, because in my own reflection of looking over the years from grade school until now, I just remembered the hurt and pain that I carried for years that I did not share. I remembered what it was like to have a smile on my face when I was truly hurting inside. I remembered what it was like to be cheated on, backbitten, talked about and belittled. There are still some today that want to see me fail to remedy their pain and misfortune. But when I look at my life now, I have a faithful, loving, handsome man of God who loves me like no other. I have four beautiful children that remind me everyday just how blessed I am. If you want to know how that should encourage you…I once was that little girl trapped in an adult body who thought she was worthless because of what others said or did. And now I know that I am worth the love I receive and those around me are worth the love I give. I don’t need a husband or children to know I am blessed. I am blessed because God ordained it to be so and I choose to step in it and receive it in Jesus’ Name. I dare you to Stand UP and love yourself enough to know your worth.

Here's to good women

My Ladies, Stand UP and make your presence known that you are worthy to be loved and cherished. But it starts with you looking in the mirror and convincing that woman you see to…….STAND UP!!!!!!

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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The Customer Is Always Right! TOTALLY WRONG!

09 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Business, Career

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

#Customer Service, #www.ShannonAyersSpeaks.com

iselfri001p1

The late Harry Gordon Selfridge was credited in his day as a trailblazer in consumer satisfaction that revolutionized the retail industry.  Mr. Selfridge cornered the market years ago with the whole notion of great customer service by any means necessary.  According to an article found in the Chicago Tribune on March 28, 2014 entitled, “Mr. Selfridge: The Man Who Invented Retail Therapy”,  Selfridge took great stock in how he treated his customers which fundamentally set the stage for superior customer service.  This concept was adopted as a best business practice most retailers still use today…thus the idea of the customer is always right — a phrase he likely coined.  While this concept made great strides in the success of consumer retail purchasing, it has also been a disruption in reshaping the psyche of the consumer.

angry-customers

Some customers have developed a false sense of power in demanding what they want at any expense other then their own.

A personal story:

Several years ago, I worked for a car rental company that has most certainly built their reputation on pleasing their customers to the fullest extent.

It’s Christmas time and the office was filled with none less than about 20 customers.  I proceeded to pick up a customer that all other co-workers avoided due to previous bad encounters unbeknownst to me.  On the drive back to the office, the customer and I had a great conversation and all seemed well in the land.  As we reached the office, I sat the customer down and began to go through my normal process of setting up a rental contract.  She did not have a credit card which was no problem.  I proceeded to explain to her our process for “Cash Qualifying” customers.  To my surprise, she jumped up, began cursing at me and threatened me with bodily harm if I didn’t put her into a rental without going through a bunch of (expletives).  I calmly tried to take control of the situation by explaining to the customer that I am happy to help her if we could just sit down and discuss her options for a rental.  She continued in her belligerence and started toward me to further emphasize her point.  To avoid any physical contact, I proceeded to the manager’s office who could hear the entire exchange but never came to my defense.  Instead, he said he would take over the rental and totally went against the policy that we were taught just to quiet her down.  He put her into a rental and sent her on her way.  I was angered and flabbergasted all at the same time.  Was the customer right?  What message did that also send to the other 20 customers who witnessed this awful display?  Shortly thereafter, I resigned my position since I no longer felt safe or protected in my work environment.  This is a job where I received numerous awards and recognition for both customer service and sales.  By all accounts, I was one of their star employees.

I have worked several customer service jobs throughout my career and have always been told that the customer is always right.  However, from my first job at the age of 16 until now I have unapologetically disagreed.  Having said that, exceptional customer service has always been one of my greatest strengths and an asset to my career.  The confrontation with that out of control customer further solidified my point that the customer indeed is not always right.

I am all for the normal processes of trying to please a patron, however, when threats and unhealthy behavior is exhibited, there should be no tolerance for customers who behave egregiously in effort to get their way.  Therefore, this dispels the notion that customers are always right.  We have to recondition consumers to know that yes, they are indeed important and a priority.  However, this does not give license to aggressive, disrespectful and contentious behavior in order to ensure their satisfaction.  The notion that the customer is always right trains customers to think that the universe rises and sets on their existence regardless of circumstance.  This is not a good practice.  If all customers have to do is just throw a tantrum to get their way regardless of policies, procedures and appropriate protocol, this not only undermines businesses, it also can potentially place employees in unnecessary harms way.

Here a few tidbits I would like to offer that I have learned over the years as both an employee and a consumer.  These are solely based on my personal experiences and not from anyone else’s books or methodology.

customer-experience-strategy-featuredWhat Customers Want

Lessons for Employees and Management:

Step #1 – Give customers what they pay for and/or what your advertisement suggests and make every effort to be as helpful as possible.  Try not to ever tell a customer no, but instead try to offer alternatives and solutions.

Step #2 – Treat customers with respect and a sense of importance and appreciation for their patronage.

Step #3 – Diffuse potential contentious situations by not using buzz words that set customers off such as: I don’t know! This is not my area! Can you come back later, I’m busy right now.  There is no one here to help you right now.

Step #4 – Do not argue with customers especially not in front of other customers.

Step #5 – Do not argue with employees in front of customers.

Step #6 – Listen to the customers’ complaint before offering a response to make sure you understand the need or problem.

Step #7 – Never, Never, Never condone a customer’s disrespect to your staff.

Step #8 – Never, Never, Never condone an employee’s disrespect to your business or customers.

Step #9 – Properly train staff on providing exceptional customer service and remedies for unhappy customers.  Always have a plan B for situations that customer service policies do not address.

Step #10 – Never mistreat a customer or make assumptions based on someone’s race of perceived intelligence level due to appearance.

Step #11 – Do not take out personal or professional frustrations on customers.  Take a break until you cool off.  The customer should not be made privy to what should have been handled privately.

Attitude Changes Everything

Customers:

Step #1 – Know that there are situations where you may not be right.

Step #2 – RESPECTFULLY demand what you pay for if the business/establishment has not fulfilled their responsibility.

Step #3 – Be gracious to new trainees, you just never know how that may work to your benefit.

Step #4 – Expect exceptional customer service and provide feedback for anything less.

Step #5 – Make a concerted effort to reward exceptional customer service by writing a letter, making a phone call or asking to speak with management.

Step #6 – Never walk away unhappy without any effort to make concerns known to management.

Step #7 – Smile and use your manners.  Say please and thank you as often as possible.  After all, isn’t that what we teach the kids.

Step #8 – Never mistreat an employee because of their race or perceived intelligence level based on appearances.

Step #9 – Do not over assume your importance over another customer due to your income level.

Step #10 – Apologize if you get it wrong!!!

Step #11 – Do not take out personal or professional frustrations on staff and businesses.  Try to clear your head before entering an establishment.  Your personal issues should not be visited on others to vent your frustrations.

I learned early on as both a consumer and employee how important it is to use customer service as a beneficial resource and not a psychological noose around the necks of businesses.  I have mastered the art of making my customers feel valued without devaluing myself or the business at hand.  Exceptional customer service cannot be undermined by the consumer or the business but instead used as a bartered tool for services rendered and received.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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Whatever Happened To Calvin?

08 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Career, Inspiration

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

#Job, #McDonalds, #ShannonAyersSpeaks, #StarManagementConsulting, #Youth

Most of us who were 90’s teens remember Calvin. We watched Calvin grow over a few years as he progressed from a young kid looking forward to his new job at McDonald’s to ultimately working his way up to manager. When I ask, “Where is Calvin?” I am figuratively speaking.

Calvin Pic

My family and I had the opportunity to live in Japan for three years. What we were astonished to experience was how Japanese employees working at McDonalds had a great sense of pride in their job. Their uniforms were pristine, the restaurants were clean enough to eat off of the floor and most importantly they made their customers feel that they were so grateful to serve them. Oh, and did I mention that the burgers tasted far better than the restaurants in the U.S.? What’s wrong with this picture?

Japan McDonalds

I remember when I was in high school, having any type of honest paying job was respectable for a teenager by adults as well as their peers. Today, working at some place like McDonalds is considered shameful and/or embarrassing. Teens have no sense of customer service, work atmosphere decorum or a sense of pride in their work. I see more gum smacking, cell phone using, pants sagging teenagers that could care less if they get your order right or who take their jobs seriously. Of course there are some teens who do not fit this category. Unfortunately, I can count on one hand how many I have run across in the last several years.

The Calvin commercials were a hopeful display of youth aspiring to be something and be somebody important. It signified a great pride in being productive and the aspiration to be greater than the present. I WANT CALVIN BACK to give our kids hope again and prayerfully inspire them to want something out of life and to take pride in small strides toward “that great life achievement” of being one’s best.

I want employers to have greater expectations of our kids regardless of where they work and challenge them to a greater standard than what we see today. I don’t care if you start off as a street sweeper or custodian, have a sense of pride in a job well done. Do your best and be your best — you never know who’s watching. You cannot allow them to come to work dressed inappropriately or talk to the customers any kind of way.  Teach them recyclable skills that will help them grow and develop as a professional.

Group of businesspeople standing.

I got my first job at the age of 16 working at Lerners New York on Canal Street in New Orleans. I was the youngest employee in our store. My manager was Kim Joseph who is now deceased. When I worked at Lerners, Kim had no less expectation of me than she did our 60+ year old assistant manager who affectionately referred to me as “little one”. I had to pull my weight like everyone else. I had to come to work dressed properly. I had to show up on time. I was expected to deliver exceptional customer service. I learned so many valuable job skills that I still use today. That job inspired me to want to do something meaningful with my life. And it all started with a manager who use to drive me nuts by kicking my butt to do my best and I am forever grateful. While she died in her 30’s of cancer several years ago, I wish she could be alive today so that I could tell her a simple thank you. I would say to Kim Joseph, thank you for commanding nothing less than excellence from me and instilling in me actionable experience that allowed me many subsequent employment successes.

If we don’t have expectations of our youth today, there is no hope for a better tomorrow. We have to demand more of our youth so that they can make a significant mark on this world that will propel it and them forward. We should not allow there to be a constant maintenance of stagnation and ignorance in our youth that only leads to increased drop out rates, unwanted pregnancies, low wage jobs, public assistance and overpopulated prisons.

WILL THE CALVINS OF THE WORLD PLEASE STAND UP AND TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AMONGST THE STARS!!! Great things are in store when you do.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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Feature Friday

03 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Feature Friday, Inspiration

≈ 5 Comments

Feature Friday

Breaking News — www.ShannonAyersSpeaks.com will be hosting a “Feature Friday” to put a spotlight on some extraodinary people. If you would like to showcase a loved one that has accomplished something remarkable, your own skills and talents, or a business (new or existing), send me your requests at shannonayersspeaks@gmail.com. I will make selections to be featured on my blog every Friday. Please include any links, a full description of what is to be featured, a bio if applicable and photos. Prior to posting, I will let you know when your submission will be featured. I’m excited! Aren’t you?

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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NO! YOU CAN’T TOUCH MY HAIR!!!

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by shannonayersspeaks in Inspiration

≈ 12 Comments

Don't Touch My Hair Image

Okay, I will start off by saying that this is not an issue for all women of color. However, it annoys others and myself to no end when women of other races want to constantly touch our hair and make it the topic of conversation as if it is some strange phenomenon. Personally speaking, it implies that people of color have abnormal hair. There is nothing abnormal about it. Some people of color just have different textures of hair and want to be left alone to be our natural BEAUTIFUL selves.

I decided to go natural several years ago and enjoyed this style up until last summer when I decided to go back to processed. It didn’t work out for me so I decided to go back natural.  Ladies of every race and ethnicty, we all know our one common truth as women is excercising our right to change our minds or try something new.

On my job, I get along great with my co-workers, but it gets to be annoying when the only two women of color in our department get to be the topic of conversation regarding our hair.  To speak up about this annoyance places us in a position to be considered “Black Woman” agressive or hyper race sensitve.  To not speak up means to endure an office gathering of women each wanting to take turns touching our hair and listening to their hair opinions.  One woman even suggested to the other female of color (who has dreads) that she would love to just comb out her hair.  She then suggested to me that I would look great with a weave or wig just like another woman of color who works upstairs.  REALLY!!!! Stop it people!!! This can be racially offensive even if it is not intended. Please respect our space and do not make a spectacle out of our differences or offer your suggestions as to how we can make our hair more like yours. It implies that you enjoy a superior sense of normality versus others considered to be abnormal because they are different from you. We all are different in so many ways. It’s a great thing to celebrate both the commonalities and differences, but not to the extent where women of color should be forced to indulge in your curiosities and unsolicited opinions for personal appeasement.

If you work on this now, you can teach your kids how to be respectful of others. This will allow them to look at people as just people who are different…none better or worse for their differences, just different.  Thank you in advance for treating myself and others with the same respect as I would hope you would want for yourself.  As for women of color, we will continue to enjoy our God-given natural beauty while appreciating the beauty in you as well.  What say you?

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

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