SISTERHOOD ENCOURAGEMENT 101

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I am with you image

To Every Woman — Know Your Worth And Value!

I encourage you this day to toss out the notion that:

  • you are less because “He” dumped you or cheated on you or tells you your nothing
  • you are less because “She” flaunts her body in front of you making you think that because you’re over weight you aren’t beautiful
  • the texture or length of your hair makes you less attractive
  • your skin color makes you less appealing
  • your pedigree is less than Park Avenue or Lakeshore Drive because you came from the streets, projects, trailers, foster care or no formal education
  • you are less than a woman because you had a mastectomy, hysterectomy, miscarriage or are infertile
  • you are less because mama wasn’t there or daddy wasn’t there thinking you belong to no one
  • you are not worth loving because “Friend girl” did not support you, talked about you, lied on you
  • because “He” beats on you or verbally abuses you that you’re worthless
  • that because your loved ones passed on that you’re alone because you’re not

shebelievedPlease know that God designed us as women and that he loves us unconditionally. We don’t all fit the mold of the ladies in the magazines or on tv. Some of us around “that time of the month” began to feel depressed and reflect on hurt and pain that has happened to us before or is happening right now. Or we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see and feel hopeless. Some of us walk around with a smile on our face but with tears in our hearts behind closed doors. I want you to know that you are greater than your circumstance. Stand UP “My Ladies” and know your worth. Stand up “My Ladies” and know who you are and whose you are. Stand UP and encourage one another and do not tear each other down.

Girl You Got This

Why do I write this today, because in my own reflection of looking over the years from grade school until now, I just remembered the hurt and pain that I carried for years that I did not share. I remembered what it was like to have a smile on my face when I was truly hurting inside. I remembered what it was like to be cheated on, backbitten, talked about and belittled. There are still some today that want to see me fail to remedy their pain and misfortune. But when I look at my life now, I have a faithful, loving, handsome man of God who loves me like no other. I have four beautiful children that remind me everyday just how blessed I am. If you want to know how that should encourage you…I once was that little girl trapped in an adult body who thought she was worthless because of what others said or did. And now I know that I am worth the love I receive and those around me are worth the love I give. I don’t need a husband or children to know I am blessed. I am blessed because God ordained it to be so and I choose to step in it and receive it in Jesus’ Name. I dare you to Stand UP and love yourself enough to know your worth.

Here's to good women

My Ladies, Stand UP and make your presence known that you are worthy to be loved and cherished. But it starts with you looking in the mirror and convincing that woman you see to…….STAND UP!!!!!!

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

The Customer Is Always Right! TOTALLY WRONG!

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The late Harry Gordon Selfridge was credited in his day as a trailblazer in consumer satisfaction that revolutionized the retail industry.  Mr. Selfridge cornered the market years ago with the whole notion of great customer service by any means necessary.  According to an article found in the Chicago Tribune on March 28, 2014 entitled, “Mr. Selfridge: The Man Who Invented Retail Therapy”,  Selfridge took great stock in how he treated his customers which fundamentally set the stage for superior customer service.  This concept was adopted as a best business practice most retailers still use today…thus the idea of the customer is always right — a phrase he likely coined.  While this concept made great strides in the success of consumer retail purchasing, it has also been a disruption in reshaping the psyche of the consumer.

angry-customers

Some customers have developed a false sense of power in demanding what they want at any expense other then their own.

A personal story:

Several years ago, I worked for a car rental company that has most certainly built their reputation on pleasing their customers to the fullest extent.

It’s Christmas time and the office was filled with none less than about 20 customers.  I proceeded to pick up a customer that all other co-workers avoided due to previous bad encounters unbeknownst to me.  On the drive back to the office, the customer and I had a great conversation and all seemed well in the land.  As we reached the office, I sat the customer down and began to go through my normal process of setting up a rental contract.  She did not have a credit card which was no problem.  I proceeded to explain to her our process for “Cash Qualifying” customers.  To my surprise, she jumped up, began cursing at me and threatened me with bodily harm if I didn’t put her into a rental without going through a bunch of (expletives).  I calmly tried to take control of the situation by explaining to the customer that I am happy to help her if we could just sit down and discuss her options for a rental.  She continued in her belligerence and started toward me to further emphasize her point.  To avoid any physical contact, I proceeded to the manager’s office who could hear the entire exchange but never came to my defense.  Instead, he said he would take over the rental and totally went against the policy that we were taught just to quiet her down.  He put her into a rental and sent her on her way.  I was angered and flabbergasted all at the same time.  Was the customer right?  What message did that also send to the other 20 customers who witnessed this awful display?  Shortly thereafter, I resigned my position since I no longer felt safe or protected in my work environment.  This is a job where I received numerous awards and recognition for both customer service and sales.  By all accounts, I was one of their star employees.

I have worked several customer service jobs throughout my career and have always been told that the customer is always right.  However, from my first job at the age of 16 until now I have unapologetically disagreed.  Having said that, exceptional customer service has always been one of my greatest strengths and an asset to my career.  The confrontation with that out of control customer further solidified my point that the customer indeed is not always right.

I am all for the normal processes of trying to please a patron, however, when threats and unhealthy behavior is exhibited, there should be no tolerance for customers who behave egregiously in effort to get their way.  Therefore, this dispels the notion that customers are always right.  We have to recondition consumers to know that yes, they are indeed important and a priority.  However, this does not give license to aggressive, disrespectful and contentious behavior in order to ensure their satisfaction.  The notion that the customer is always right trains customers to think that the universe rises and sets on their existence regardless of circumstance.  This is not a good practice.  If all customers have to do is just throw a tantrum to get their way regardless of policies, procedures and appropriate protocol, this not only undermines businesses, it also can potentially place employees in unnecessary harms way.

Here a few tidbits I would like to offer that I have learned over the years as both an employee and a consumer.  These are solely based on my personal experiences and not from anyone else’s books or methodology.

customer-experience-strategy-featuredWhat Customers Want

Lessons for Employees and Management:

Step #1 – Give customers what they pay for and/or what your advertisement suggests and make every effort to be as helpful as possible.  Try not to ever tell a customer no, but instead try to offer alternatives and solutions.

Step #2 – Treat customers with respect and a sense of importance and appreciation for their patronage.

Step #3 – Diffuse potential contentious situations by not using buzz words that set customers off such as: I don’t know! This is not my area! Can you come back later, I’m busy right now.  There is no one here to help you right now.

Step #4 – Do not argue with customers especially not in front of other customers.

Step #5 – Do not argue with employees in front of customers.

Step #6 – Listen to the customers’ complaint before offering a response to make sure you understand the need or problem.

Step #7 – Never, Never, Never condone a customer’s disrespect to your staff.

Step #8 – Never, Never, Never condone an employee’s disrespect to your business or customers.

Step #9 – Properly train staff on providing exceptional customer service and remedies for unhappy customers.  Always have a plan B for situations that customer service policies do not address.

Step #10 – Never mistreat a customer or make assumptions based on someone’s race of perceived intelligence level due to appearance.

Step #11 – Do not take out personal or professional frustrations on customers.  Take a break until you cool off.  The customer should not be made privy to what should have been handled privately.

Attitude Changes Everything

Customers:

Step #1 – Know that there are situations where you may not be right.

Step #2 – RESPECTFULLY demand what you pay for if the business/establishment has not fulfilled their responsibility.

Step #3 – Be gracious to new trainees, you just never know how that may work to your benefit.

Step #4 – Expect exceptional customer service and provide feedback for anything less.

Step #5 – Make a concerted effort to reward exceptional customer service by writing a letter, making a phone call or asking to speak with management.

Step #6 – Never walk away unhappy without any effort to make concerns known to management.

Step #7 – Smile and use your manners.  Say please and thank you as often as possible.  After all, isn’t that what we teach the kids.

Step #8 – Never mistreat an employee because of their race or perceived intelligence level based on appearances.

Step #9 – Do not over assume your importance over another customer due to your income level.

Step #10 – Apologize if you get it wrong!!!

Step #11 – Do not take out personal or professional frustrations on staff and businesses.  Try to clear your head before entering an establishment.  Your personal issues should not be visited on others to vent your frustrations.

I learned early on as both a consumer and employee how important it is to use customer service as a beneficial resource and not a psychological noose around the necks of businesses.  I have mastered the art of making my customers feel valued without devaluing myself or the business at hand.  Exceptional customer service cannot be undermined by the consumer or the business but instead used as a bartered tool for services rendered and received.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

Video

Whatever Happened To Calvin?

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Most of us who were 90’s teens remember Calvin. We watched Calvin grow over a few years as he progressed from a young kid looking forward to his new job at McDonald’s to ultimately working his way up to manager. When I ask, “Where is Calvin?” I am figuratively speaking.

Calvin Pic

My family and I had the opportunity to live in Japan for three years. What we were astonished to experience was how Japanese employees working at McDonalds had a great sense of pride in their job. Their uniforms were pristine, the restaurants were clean enough to eat off of the floor and most importantly they made their customers feel that they were so grateful to serve them. Oh, and did I mention that the burgers tasted far better than the restaurants in the U.S.? What’s wrong with this picture?

Japan McDonalds

I remember when I was in high school, having any type of honest paying job was respectable for a teenager by adults as well as their peers. Today, working at some place like McDonalds is considered shameful and/or embarrassing. Teens have no sense of customer service, work atmosphere decorum or a sense of pride in their work. I see more gum smacking, cell phone using, pants sagging teenagers that could care less if they get your order right or who take their jobs seriously. Of course there are some teens who do not fit this category. Unfortunately, I can count on one hand how many I have run across in the last several years.

The Calvin commercials were a hopeful display of youth aspiring to be something and be somebody important. It signified a great pride in being productive and the aspiration to be greater than the present. I WANT CALVIN BACK to give our kids hope again and prayerfully inspire them to want something out of life and to take pride in small strides toward “that great life achievement” of being one’s best.

I want employers to have greater expectations of our kids regardless of where they work and challenge them to a greater standard than what we see today. I don’t care if you start off as a street sweeper or custodian, have a sense of pride in a job well done. Do your best and be your best — you never know who’s watching. You cannot allow them to come to work dressed inappropriately or talk to the customers any kind of way.  Teach them recyclable skills that will help them grow and develop as a professional.

Group of businesspeople standing.

I got my first job at the age of 16 working at Lerners New York on Canal Street in New Orleans. I was the youngest employee in our store. My manager was Kim Joseph who is now deceased. When I worked at Lerners, Kim had no less expectation of me than she did our 60+ year old assistant manager who affectionately referred to me as “little one”. I had to pull my weight like everyone else. I had to come to work dressed properly. I had to show up on time. I was expected to deliver exceptional customer service. I learned so many valuable job skills that I still use today. That job inspired me to want to do something meaningful with my life. And it all started with a manager who use to drive me nuts by kicking my butt to do my best and I am forever grateful. While she died in her 30’s of cancer several years ago, I wish she could be alive today so that I could tell her a simple thank you. I would say to Kim Joseph, thank you for commanding nothing less than excellence from me and instilling in me actionable experience that allowed me many subsequent employment successes.

If we don’t have expectations of our youth today, there is no hope for a better tomorrow. We have to demand more of our youth so that they can make a significant mark on this world that will propel it and them forward. We should not allow there to be a constant maintenance of stagnation and ignorance in our youth that only leads to increased drop out rates, unwanted pregnancies, low wage jobs, public assistance and overpopulated prisons.

WILL THE CALVINS OF THE WORLD PLEASE STAND UP AND TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AMONGST THE STARS!!! Great things are in store when you do.

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

Feature Friday

Feature Friday

Breaking News — www.ShannonAyersSpeaks.com will be hosting a “Feature Friday” to put a spotlight on some extraodinary people. If you would like to showcase a loved one that has accomplished something remarkable, your own skills and talents, or a business (new or existing), send me your requests at shannonayersspeaks@gmail.com. I will make selections to be featured on my blog every Friday. Please include any links, a full description of what is to be featured, a bio if applicable and photos. Prior to posting, I will let you know when your submission will be featured. I’m excited! Aren’t you?

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

NO! YOU CAN’T TOUCH MY HAIR!!!

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Okay, I will start off by saying that this is not an issue for all women of color. However, it annoys others and myself to no end when women of other races want to constantly touch our hair and make it the topic of conversation as if it is some strange phenomenon. Personally speaking, it implies that people of color have abnormal hair. There is nothing abnormal about it. Some people of color just have different textures of hair and want to be left alone to be our natural BEAUTIFUL selves.

I decided to go natural several years ago and enjoyed this style up until last summer when I decided to go back to processed. It didn’t work out for me so I decided to go back natural.  Ladies of every race and ethnicty, we all know our one common truth as women is excercising our right to change our minds or try something new.

On my job, I get along great with my co-workers, but it gets to be annoying when the only two women of color in our department get to be the topic of conversation regarding our hair.  To speak up about this annoyance places us in a position to be considered “Black Woman” agressive or hyper race sensitve.  To not speak up means to endure an office gathering of women each wanting to take turns touching our hair and listening to their hair opinions.  One woman even suggested to the other female of color (who has dreads) that she would love to just comb out her hair.  She then suggested to me that I would look great with a weave or wig just like another woman of color who works upstairs.  REALLY!!!! Stop it people!!! This can be racially offensive even if it is not intended. Please respect our space and do not make a spectacle out of our differences or offer your suggestions as to how we can make our hair more like yours. It implies that you enjoy a superior sense of normality versus others considered to be abnormal because they are different from you. We all are different in so many ways. It’s a great thing to celebrate both the commonalities and differences, but not to the extent where women of color should be forced to indulge in your curiosities and unsolicited opinions for personal appeasement.

If you work on this now, you can teach your kids how to be respectful of others. This will allow them to look at people as just people who are different…none better or worse for their differences, just different.  Thank you in advance for treating myself and others with the same respect as I would hope you would want for yourself.  As for women of color, we will continue to enjoy our God-given natural beauty while appreciating the beauty in you as well.  What say you?

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

Child Missing

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Most of us see pictures floating around on Facebook posted of missing children.  As part of the search effort, those pictures are typically accompanied with a request to help get the word out by sharing the post.  My heart aches everytime I see some beautiful face that has been separated from their loved ones.   Like most, I share the photo on my timeline, say a quick prayer and then move on to another interest.

On last Saturday, I received the news that my nephew had been missing for well over 24 hours since the Friday before.  My heart felt like it stopped and I froze in a state of shock.  It is one thing to pass on someone else’s photo that I don’t know, but it is altogether different when it hits so close to home.  All sorts of thoughts were running through my mind of the awful things that cruel people do to little children.  I love my nephew just as much as I love my own children.  I have seen him grow from a tiny baby to a handsome young man who is now 14 years old and he’s missing.  Apparently, he had gotten into some trouble with his parents due to disobedience and took off.  By the grace of God we received the news that he was found.  His parents picked him up and we all cried and were so relieved that he was okay.

Below you will read his own account of what he experienced while wandering the streets at night all alone.  It is my hope that you will share his experience with your kids as a teaching tool to keep them safe from harm’s way.  I shared this experience with my kids which also opened the door to a broader discussion about what they experience as kids and pre-teens.  I felt it important for them to understand that I have had the same thoughts, feelings and experiences when I was their age.  I know all to well what it is like to want to experience life contrary to what I was taught and how I was raised.  At the end of the our conversation, I left them with a few thoughts:  First and foremost, they are loved no matter what; Secondly, to take full responsiblity of their actions and consequences thereof; Lastly, they have to understand how the consquences of their actions effect their loved ones.  I would  love to hear your thoughts!!!

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

In his own words:

I will like to thank everyone for your prayers and support. I apologize for the pain I have caused you to endure for the past few days, please accept my humble,sincere apologies I am thankful to GOD that I was kept safe while I was walking the streets. Here is a timeline of what I was doing while I was out.
I walked to Tutt Middle School, then to a gas station, next i walked to my old neighborhood in Harrisburg, which was not the safest place to be at night, next while walking to University Hospital I declined a ride from a stranger, next I walked from University Hospital to MCG Hospital and watched some workers up until i heard the birds next I walked back to Harrisburg and talked to my old neighbors next while I was trying to find my siblings school I was asked by a man who was blowing leaves, what I was doing and he told me to be safe, since i could not find my siblings school I decided to walk to the library while at the library i dozed off while Reading a book once I woke up I walked back to Harrisburg and to my old high school where I saw a family friend next I went to a barbershop with my old neighbors after I left there I stayed at my old neighbor’s house until my parents came and picked me up. All together I walked for a total of 15+ miles. The whole time while I was out I was thinking about what I had done wrong when I was at home.
What I have learned from this experience is that I have put my family and family friends through a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. I also realize that I have a family that cares about me and who also loves me and that I need to appreciate what they do for me and how they bring me up. I learned that I need to face my problems instead of trying to ignore them.

Belgian Newspaper Depicts U.S. President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle As Monkeys

Obamas Portrayed as Monkeys

As reported in the Grio, “Belgian newspaper De Morgen posted a picture of the first couple with ape mouths to coincide with the president’s recent visit to the Netherlands to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the start of World War I.”

This is where we are today! Racism is a cancer that eats away at this world well beyond one’s imagination. The reason why other countries can attack our President and his family this way is because we as a country do not respect or support him. For a newspaper to act so emboldened to post such a vile display of disrespect speaks volumes of just how far we still have to travel to eradicate racism. What are your thoughts?

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

Preachers’ Daughters on Lifetime Television

Preachers' Daughters

“With judging eyes watching, the drama runs deep as the girls struggle with living up to the expectations of their parents and their congregations. As temptation, redemption, guilt and the path to right and wrong collide, will these preachers’ daughters choose sin or salvation?” 

You just read an excerpt taken from an advertisement on MyLifetime.com for the reality series, Preachers’ Daughters that is currently in its second season.  I must say that this show disturbs me on so many levels.  Being the parent of a preacher’s three daughters, I could not imagine putting our girls on display for the world to share in their indiscretions.  Not only do these kids experience a certain level of scrutiny that the average church kid does not, now the world gets to judge these young ladies as well.  You have to wonder if they have possibly kicked it up a notch since the cameras are rolling.  What is truly the purpose and how can this be beneficial to their spiritual walk?

If I am honest, I indulge in a reality show or two myself and can therefore understand the fascination with watching people’s lives unfold before our eyes.  It just really bothers me that these young ladies are not adults, they are children who are not mature enough to make a decision about putting their lives on full display and who will forever be just a Google away from view.  I would be really interested in interviewing these young ladies about five to ten years from now to see how they feel about their behavior as teens being televised.  The same should be said about Honey Boo Boo and other kids who are basically exploited for entertainment purposes, it just doesn’t seem right to me.  What say you?

Blessings and Inspiration,

Shannon Ayers Speaks

LAY OFF OF MARY MARY’S TINA CAMPBELL!!!

teddy-and-tina-campbell

Most people that follow gospel music know Tina and Erica Campbell as the award winning, gospel singing sensation, Mary Mary.  They are currently in the third season of their reality tv series chronicling their lives and music career.  The latest buzz regarding this gospel duo is Tina Campbell candidly speaking about her husband’s affair.  Tina fully disclosed details regarding her husband’s infidelity in an interview with Ebony magazine.  She also chose to forgive her husband and try to work things out with him to keep their family together.

She recently did another interview where she disclosed how she shared in the responsibility of her husband’s unfaithfulness.  She mentioned how she put her kids first, that she was controlling and selfish.  She mentioned how at times she did not treat him respectfully.  Since then, there has been much chatter in cybersphere criticizing Tina for her comments and admission.  This was really shocking to me that she would be so heavily criticized for speaking her truth.

Lay off of Tina and let her live her truth and heal in a way that is best for she and her family.  Don’t judge her because you don’t fully understand her admitted role in the demise of her marriage.  In no way did she give him a pass for cheating.  Anyone in a mature adult relationship should understand that in no way is infidelity acceptable under any kind of circumstances.  He has taken full responsibility and admitted to his cowardice for what he did.  Allow her situation to be an encouragement to either help you heal from your own situation or not end up having the same experience.

Men and women have to know how to treat their significant other with respect, intimacy and companionship.  In other words, you should do everything in your power to maintain a healthy and fulfilled relationship.  Ladies, we should not demean and emasculate our men because we are educated with a good job.  It also means being intimately available and yes, vulnerable too.  And remember, take care of your kids but keep your husband as a priority.  Those kids grow up to have their own lives.  Men, you should not be dismissive, insensitve and disrespectful to your lady.  It also means communicating and sharing openly instead of just talking with your friends.  When your lady is intimately available you should not take that as a license to make that the most significant part of your relationship.  For both men and women alike, keep God at the center of your relationship which will help you both identify a healthy balance of what it takes to keep the relationship solid.  What say you?

Blessings and Inspiration,

ShannonAyersSpeaks