Everyone has been hurt by at least one person in their lifetime. Some of those hurts run deeper than just one of life’s experiences. I recently had conversations with about four different people totally unrelated speaking about the topic of apologies. Haven’t you said or felt that if he/she would just apologize you could move on? I have also been there with thinking that I needed an apology from someone in order to have closure. After having those recent conversations, I remember saying to a couple of these people to not be a slave to an apology.
IS WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE AND YOU BELIEVE THEM!!!! CASE CLOSED!! MOVE ON!!
We give people too much power over our happiness and our mental well being. While an apology does at times help to feel better about someone or a situation, we should not be dependent upon someone else doing the right thing in order to feel better. Why does anyone deserve that much power over you? I have learned in my life time that people are going to be people. At the very least, the gift you get in someone who does not apologize for hurting you is them showing you who they are. When you know what and who you are dealing with, count it as a gift of knowledge.
Therefore, when someone hurts you, don’t sit around waiting on them to apologize in order for your heart and mind to heal. Instead, take that energy and use it toward being a better you by putting your faith and trust in God and not man.
Remember, God will never fail you!
Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks
shannonayersspeaks 
Good article. I am facing a few of these issues as well..
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Thank you for reading and do read again.
Blessings and Inspiration,
ShannonAyersSpeaks
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I can identify with wanting and actually waiting for someone that hurt me to apologize for the hurt they caused but I have come to realize some people will never apologize for the things they do.
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Alicia,
What I often share with others going through similar situations is that we have to learn to live with what’s in our control. Unfortunately, we cannot make adults apologize the way we can with kids. That person’s heart has to be pricked with conviction enough to want to make the situation right. Therefore, what is in your control is to not only forgive them, but to also pray for them with a sincere heart that the Lord will have His way in their lives and turn it over to Him. That should prayerfully give you closure without depending on man. Thank you so much for reading and do read again.
Blessings and Inspiration,
ShannonAyersSpeaks
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Amen!!! I am not going to destroy my fellowship with The Lord by holding on to grudges. All I have to do is think about all the Mercy & Grace applied to my sinful nature each & every day and I have every reason to forgive over & over again!!!
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Like others have shared, I too have dealt with my own share of hurts. It can knock the wind out of you, so to speak, when someone you cared about walks away without even so much as an apology. I can’t pretend that their actions don’t hurt but I too have learned a lesson or two on letting go of hurt or pain caused by others regardless of whether they have chosen to apologize. Letting go is essential for us so that we do not become stunted in our own growth. I like what you said that if someone chooses not to apologize or recognize the wrong they have done we do still “get” something – we get to see who they are.
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There are a few people I let get to me, even to these days. I’ve suffered from bullying and abuse as a young child, and I constantly worry to this day. I need to push myself to forgive and move on with life. Worrying is only stressing me out. There are times where I’m very happy and the the next day I’m sad, but I will only better myself if I move on and stop worrying about the past. It’s all about the future now.
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I totally understand forgiveness. Many people I know have let pain take them over, from past bullying to other problems. I believe we all need to forgive the person who wronged us, otherwise we will have this hateful buildup for the rest of our lives and tha’ts never good.
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Dana,
This is so true! Bitterness destroys lives. Forgiveness doesn’t make you forget. What it does instead is to help you move beyond that point to happiness. Thank you for reading and do read again.
Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks
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I agree that apologies certainly do provide some amount of closure and do help the mind and body heal when one is coming off a bad situation or circumstance. But in reality we really shouldn’t be so dependent on the person doing what we feel is right. Sometimes to other people, them apologizing isn’t the right thing and there isn’t always going to be an apology.
If you are continuously accepting apologies from the same people and yet they keep making the same mistakes, or hurting you in the same way, then obviously their apologies are not sincere and they are not listening to your hurt emotions. Those types of people are not worth having in your life. So do away with the constant apologies and either accept one and move on, or accept none and move on.
Sometimes the best way to move on is to just forgive them. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn to forgive people without having to ever ask for an apology to feel better about how they hurt you or what they did. If you can forgive them and move on from them, then your better off as it is.
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A sincere apology can speed up the healing of a situation. We should just not be so reliant on someone to apologize to heal and move on. When we do, we trap ourselves in a closet or dark room waiting on someone else with a key to let us out. But what do we do when they don’t? No one should have that kind of power over our happiness. Pride tells us to hold out and wait for it. But wisdom dictates taking control of your own happiness and pray that the offender will learn and grow as well. That way, you hold your own key and can decide at any moment to unlock that door and free yourself. Thank you for reading and please read again by following me for future postings.
Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks
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Thanks for the beautiful words, I really need some motivation now in my life. Please kkep going!
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Sonia,
Thank you very much for your comment. I will indeed. Be of good courage and be inspired to higher heights and deeper depths so that you may soar above the clouds. Please follow me here so that you may receive future postings. Thanks for reading!
Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks
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Thank you Shannon for this on time word and I thank God for allowing you to minister to my soul and my Spirit man…….this is so truw that when someone shows you who they are, believe them and never, ever put so much trust in a person.
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Anonymous,
Thank you for reading and it makes my heart glad that you can find some encouragement in my post. Please know that God has your back more than any one person could. Be of good courage to know that God can heal hurt in such a way far beyond what man could do in any situation. People show us who they are all the time. It just takes a moment to remove the blinders and really see them for what they have demonstrated to us all alond. Be blessed! Be encouraged! And be inspired!
Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks
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I am sorry, really why does your sorry hurt worse than the thing you did to cause you to feel like you had to apologize? Maybe it’s because you keep doing things to hurt or make me feel a certain way. Shannon this is a very good topic you bring up today! I am no longer accepting apologies from the same people over and over again. I have learned to accept a person’ swords and actions for what they are. ( their true feelings) I have learned to use the time Inused to spend wondering if they knew they owed me an apology, or if they are planning to apologize. And used it on bettering myself and my life.
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Nakeitha,
Thank you for your response. Sounds like you have gained valuable lessons from your experiences. It is a beautiful thing to realize that you are no longer a slave to other people’s whims. Please follow me for future pists and do read again.
Blessings and Inspiration,
Shannon Ayers Speaks
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